Nah, I went to Scotland once. A was struck by the amount of haddock. It turns to cod south of the border. Whilst there's certainly batter, that haddock does need to pass through it's larval pre-batter stages. I think the unfortunate potato-related incident involved immature haddock in a pre-batter form. Seriously, who'd put a haddock in a baked potato? It's not buffet food. There's rules.
To be honest, think of that lack of vegetarian selections as a punishment. Oh don't look at me. It's not my idea. It's God's. Yes, God's. It's in the Bible, just not the bit anyone reads or wants to turn into a heavy metal song. Remember Jesus and the loaves and fishes (note that it wasn't potato and fish, and they'd not invented chips). He didn't cater for vegetarians.
'Is there a vegetarian option?' came a voice from the back of munching crowd.
'I've done fish? That's vegetarian,' says Jesus wiping his hands on his apron.
'Erm, no it isn't J. I mean, it's nice all the bread and fishes and that. Even if it isn't battered.'
J sighs. 'What about cheese? I can do cheese.'
'Does it have rennet? From animals?'
'I don't know. Dad isn't getting around to making you monkeys add nutritional labelling for another two thousand years. How about I use my magic Jesus powers to make it vegetarian?'
'You can do that?'
'I can raise dead people. I think I can make cheese vegetarian.'
'OK, I guess.'
J makes enough vegetarian cheese for six rounds of cheese sandwiches. And feels pretty good about it.
Another voice comes from the from the crowd. 'Is there anything for vegans?'
Then another. 'I'm lactose intolerant.'
'Has any of this been near peanuts?'
'Where's the ham?'
'Oh you ungrateful fuckers,' shouts J.
'Language Jesus!' says his mum through a mouthful of cheese sandwich.