Awesome thread. In the Feminist Republic of Juliana, the rules are as follows (although I may have forgotten some):
1. Shoes off
2. All weapons must be unloaded and made safe prior to entry
3. Umbrellas and shoes with obvious dirt on them stay in the porch
4. Bikes go round the back in the SEEKRIT BUNKER
5. Keep the back gate locked
6. Knives to be folded or sheathed as appropriate unless actually in use
7. Anyone may make tea. The making of tea is encouraged. We default to milk no sugar - if you want anything else, you're weird.
8. If you notice that we're running low on tea bags (i.e. there are fewer than 100 in the box) then buy more ASAP
9. Do not use the coffee machine unless you've had the full induction course. She bites. As do I.
10. Smokers may indulge at the bottom of the garden only. Fag butts go in the sand-filled glass pot.
11. Julian's friend Jo may not consume red wine anywhere in the house
12. Nobody is to touch Charlotte's camera equipment / knives / computers without prior permission and, if necessary, instruction
13. No making lip-smacking noises to indicate your enthusiasm at the prospect of food
14. No celery anywhere in the house (it kills Julians to DETH by anaphylaxis)
15. Do not touch Charlotte's feet. Ever.
16. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, ageism or similar prejudice will not be tolerated
17. Farting isn't always funny
18. If you're going to fart in bed, try not to get caught
19. If there's something that you want, say what it is - don't wait for it to be guessed
20. If you just had your dinner cooked for you, offer to wash up
21. No cats in the bedroom
22. The cats are banished to the conservatory at night
23. No wristwatches in bed
24. No food in bed (particularly biscuits)
25. The lid stays down unless you're using or cleaning the toilet
26. Seriously. Shut the lid before you flush.
27. If you finish the loo roll, replenish from the stack in the spare room
28. In the event of a disagreement, please note that The Julian is always right