Swim Coach? Swim Coach? Did I wake up this morning and fail to realise I had been transported to the other side of The Pond?
This is Maidenhead, where we speak The Queens England. Your T Shirt should read Swimming Instructor or Swimming Teacher, not bloody Swim Coach.
And while we are at it, when you get changed after a session of instruction or teaching (see what I did there, no mention of coaching) please hang your t shirt, costume and several pairs of shorts to dry carefully. I am getting a tad annoyed with constantly putting on a wet top before cycling home.
Failure to do so will result in TEH BEAR coming after you wearing a 'Run For Your Fecking Life Instructor' T Shirt.