The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[T42]

Good mandrill impression, though.

[andrewc]

After finishing some nasal topiary I put my little electric trimmer back on the shelf.  From where it promptly made a suicidal leap for freedom....    I picked up the 2 pieces (the head had come off) and was able to click them back together & it still worked.    I then noticed that during its descent it had hit my pottery shaving bowl* & taken a chunk out of the base.  I'm going to have to find the superglue....


Finally I looked down & noticed that there was quite a lot of red stuff leaking from my left big toe....  one of the falling items with a sharp edge must have landed on it... 

[Pingu]

After finishing some nasal topiary I put my little electric trimmer back on the shelf.  From where it promptly made a suicidal leap for freedom....    I picked up the 2 pieces (the head had come off) and was able to click them back together & it still worked.    I then noticed that during its descent it had hit my pottery shaving bowl* & taken a chunk out of the base.  I'm going to have to find the superglue....


Finally I looked down & noticed that there was quite a lot of red stuff leaking from my left big toe....  one of the falling items with a sharp edge must have landed on it... 

Another reason why beards are good 🧔

[Paul]

After finishing some nasal topiary I put my little electric trimmer back on the shelf.  From where it promptly made a suicidal leap for freedom....    I picked up the 2 pieces (the head had come off) and was able to click them back together & it still worked.    I then noticed that during its descent it had hit my pottery shaving bowl* & taken a chunk out of the base.  I'm going to have to find the superglue....


Finally I looked down & noticed that there was quite a lot of red stuff leaking from my left big toe....  one of the falling items with a sharp edge must have landed on it... 

Another reason why beards are good 🧔

In your nose?

[Polar Bear]

I'm guessing the reference might be to the pottery shaving bowl.

Ii find it much easier to use an electric shaver.  I am less prone to unintended self harm this way.

[Beardy]

Shaving is just a vanity thing. Let beards be is what I say!

[T42]

'Ear, 'ear!  Speaking of which, maybe that electric nose-picker thing would fit a lughole...

[rafletcher]

'Ear, 'ear!  Speaking of which, maybe that electric nose-picker thing would fit a lughole...

Oh yes, they certainly do.

[barakta]

I managed to forget spare trousers when packing to come to my mum's and only realised when I chucked my dirty clothes in the washing machine. I managed 4 teeshirts, plenty of underwear, 2 jumpers, scarves in case it was chilly and only 1 pair of trousers which I had on.

Thankfully my mum is a similar size so I found some of her leggings as she was out. The washing machine had a fast spin and I banged my jeans in the tumble drier for 20 mins cos I Do Not have the physical spoons to do outside laundry (which involves either carrying stuff the long way round or fighting with broken doors that I can't open). That's self care innit.

[T42]

'Ear, 'ear!  Speaking of which, maybe that electric nose-picker thing would fit a lughole...

Oh yes, they certainly do.

The thing is, nasal hairs are filters that combine with nasal secretions (sorry) to trap air-borne particles.  I only ever used mine the once, and found my sense of smell considerably altered - in fact, I'm wondering if it wasn't then that my current susceptibility to pollen began.  It only takes one good onslaught.

[T42]

Twigged to what I was doing after pouring a good splash of milk into the water-tank of the coffee machine.