The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[PeteB99]

My spare keys used to reside in my desk drawer at work. In a building I had access to 24/7 (although getting locked out on Xmas day might have been a problem). Now I'm retired my nephew 40 miles away has a spare set and I've buried an emergency key at the bottom of one of the fence posts in the garden.

The only time I've managed to lock myself out was about 45 years ago and I was just dressed in a pair of boxers

[Jurek]

Having fallen foul of the 'keys with neighbours' (a 25 minute walk away in this case) thing, I have now fitted a key safe to the outside of my building.

[nuttycyclist]

I've considered a key safe in the past, but they aren't overly secure and in addition if I ever needed it I'd probably have forgotten the code.  I never liked the idea of a key under the doormat/flowerpot/etc but previous posts have got me considering a buried tin somewhere in the back garden; all I need to do is work out where, and more importantly how I'll remember where and nobody else will find it.

[ian]

Every time I read a thread like this, I'm reminded that I ought to hide a spare somewhere in the garden, but then I wander off and forget. The main worry is that I lock myself in the porch if the main door locks behind me and I don't have a key to get back in the house or out of the porch. Another task I keep forgetting is to get that lock replaced with something that doesn't lock itself.

[Jurek]

I used to keep a set of keys in a tin in the shed in the back garden -but this involved climbing over a couple of fences and then opening the combination padlock which secured the shed by feel only as it was  pitch black in my back garden.
I then had an arrangement with PaulR (OTP, who used to live 100metres away) whereby my keys were buried in a sealed container his front garden. But then he moved to the provinces.
The key safe I use is one specced by councils and fitted to houses where carers require access. It has pushbuttons as opposed to tumbler wheels - (which are relatively easy to open by feel only).

[nuttycyclist]

Every time I read a thread like this, I'm reminded that I ought to hide a spare somewhere in the garden, but then I wander off and forget. The main worry is that I lock myself in the porch if the main door locks behind me and I don't have a key to get back in the house or out of the porch. Another task I keep forgetting is to get that lock replaced with something that doesn't lock itself.

When I was a div and left the house without keys I was lucky to have my wallet in my pocket which contained a nice thin flexible library card.  I was back in in seconds.

[grams]

If I ever get as far as getting a key safe I'd stick it somewhere discrete a few streets away.

Taping a spare key behind the car bumper might also be an idea.

(in fact I used to keep one inside the towing-eye cover on the bumper, although it proved impossible to reopen without breaking the clips)

[L CC]

When I was the adult in charge I solved my general key-ineptitude by leaving the place unlocked.

Now I leave a man in.

[Basil]

Our door can only be locked using a key.  However I did once return from the morning dog walk to find Mrs B had gone out and my keys were in the jacket that I wasn't wearing.
I later told her that a particular window was a security risk and should be locked at night.  If a 72 year old can get up to it and get in, a fit young scote would have no problem.

[rafletcher]

Well, I had cause (for the second time in about 20 years) to resort to the cunningly concealed emergency front door key this morning. My car has "keyless" entry, so I don't need any button presses to get into it. I do, however, need to carry the keys about my person 

[ian]

I did lock myself out the front once and have to climb over the tall gate to the alley down the side of the house, which was impressive, or would have been were there anyone to see. And then they'd have probably called the police.

[Wowbagger]

It's been very rare over the years for me to be in the house on my own. On one occasion a few years ago when I was, I took the dog for his late-night walk, normally just a brief emptying session. But when I got home I realised I had no keys, and it was midnight, and Not Warm.

There was a spare key 1.5 miles away in Phyllis's house. Luckily, I had a couple of £1 coins about my person and phoned her. She was, of course, already in bed. The dog got a much longer walk than usual that night.

[matthew]

I cycled home from work having left my keys in the door of my locker at work.  Rather than turn around and ride back I went to my sister and recovered the emergency key. I then phoned the office security guard and asked that he safely store my keys so that I could collect them in the morning.

I then got into the habit of locking my bike within the storage cage so that I had to have my keys to ride home.

[Regulator]

The front door has an electronic lock that can either be opened with a fob or with a smartphone.  Just in case, we've left a spare fob with our neighbour and with Jon's parents (about a mile away).

[grams]

The front door has an electronic lock that can either be opened with a fob or with a smartphone.  Just in case, we've left a spare fob with our neighbour and with Jon's parents (about a mile away).

Such things can also invariably be opened with an Atari Portfolio, a teenager in Russia, a stray radio wave or a good shove.

[rafletcher]

I cycled home from work having left my keys in the door of my locker at work.  Rather than turn around and ride back I went to my sister and recovered the emergency key. I then phoned the office security guard and asked that he safely store my keys so that I could collect them in the morning.

I then got into the habit of locking my bike within the storage cage so that I had to have my keys to ride home.

Oh, well if we're including leaving thinsg at work - I once left my wallet on my desk. As I discovered when I went to pay for the full tank of diesel I'd just put in my car.  So I had to leave me mobile as sucurity, and get back before the place was locked up to recover it?

And a second time I left my jacket - with wallet in pocket - on the back of my chair at a different workplace. Luckily I was on good terms with the security guard, and phoned and asked that, on his rounds, he collected it and took it to the gatehouse, from where I recovered it the next (Satur)day.

[T42]

Got a 10-euro voucher from the car-battery shop then had to nip back in and blow it on a 1st-aid kit because I cut myself strapping down the battery in the boot.

[Paul]

Got a 10-euro voucher from the car-battery shop then had to nip back in and blow it on a 1st-aid kit because I cut myself strapping down the battery in the boot.

Ah, the Lord giveth…

[nuttycyclist]

Based on the first aid kit thread over there -->     this is why my car has an out of date manufacturer supplied first aid kit in the boot which was stolen from the car I sold and which it replaced.  Advert I placed did not specify first aid kit.

[T42]

Got a 10-euro voucher from the car-battery shop then had to nip back in and blow it on a 1st-aid kit because I cut myself strapping down the battery in the boot.

Ah, the Lord giveth…

Assuming you worship at Norauto.

[fimm]

Me: why is this new laptop not working?
<Investigates>
Me: because it is not turned on at the plug.

[L CC]

ffs on this one, too

Should have checked you were replying to internal peeps not external on this, shouldn't you?

Now wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, and instead of being righteously annoyed with failing supplier now have to look like a complete tool.

[CommuteTooFar]

Today I made a awkward trip to Station Road, Llanishen Cardiff. Could not find the place I was looking for, no number 131.  When I got home I checked the address it was Station Road Llandaff North which is closer to me. At least I knew it was not Station Road, Radyr which would be really convenient.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I've considered a key safe in the past, but they aren't overly secure and in addition if I ever needed it I'd probably have forgotten the code.  I never liked the idea of a key under the doormat/flowerpot/etc but previous posts have got me considering a buried tin somewhere in the back garden; all I need to do is work out where, and more importantly how I'll remember where and nobody else will find it.

When you're remembered where the tin is buried, all you need then is a decent spade to dig it up. Which of course you keep in the padlocked shed. No problem, the key is in... oh.

[Mrs Pingu]

ffs on this one, too

Should have checked you were replying to internal peeps not external on this, shouldn't you?

Now wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, and instead of being righteously annoyed with failing supplier now have to look like a complete tool.

Bugger.