Things have changed a bit since my last Wednesday night outing.
The obvious differences are the very short haircuts sported by OD and the Quizmaster General.
The fact we are on Zoom rather than in a pub is also worthy of a mention.
Otherwise it's plus ca change really. In these new realities it is comforting to see that OD is still as daft as something very daft - last night he was cooking hot dogs and onions on a Trangia to recreate the authentic experience of a Boss Hogg's kebab. I bet a few short weeks ago none of us really expected to spend an evening transfixed by kebab cam, then again, none of us were. The least he could have done was set himself on fire and mistake the meths bottle for a fire extinguisher.
I logged in to find Mr and Mrs Jiber, QG, the Hustler, Bernster, Toby's Dad, Juan Sebastian Elcano, Tomsk, Oaky and mein host Huggy staring at their cameras, waiting for somebody to say something, actually say anything really. Normally at this point we would be unpacking our bikes and marvelling at my latest engineering feat/unexplained noise and handing over our hard earned to the BB. On Zoom we wait for OD's usual mouth/brain interface malfunction to manifest itself and then we're off. "Has anyone done anything exciting this week then ?" he eventually blurted. You can imagine the rush of fascinating lockdown tales that followed - ranging from a trip to the shops to walking to the end of the street - hijinks indeed. Those two minutes fairly flew by.
Fortunately we were rescued by the arrival of our special guest - a goat in a pen. According to QG, who had arranged the whole thing, having a captive animal appear during a Zoom call is all the rage in the wacky world of project management. I can see why, who could fail to be won over by a goat trying to get to sleep while someone films it. Then, suddenly, events took a dramatic turn - "we may have to cut this short" said the cryptic message on goat cam, "Lisa is kidding" then appeared. Being slow on the uptake, I thought they meant the cutting short message was a hilarious prank but, no, Lisa really was kidding (the fact Lisa the goat was heavily pregnant should have been a sufficient clue). QG has promised to follow up with the goat cam people. Perhaps they will name it after one of us - Hustler the Kid has a bit of a ring.
Things took a definite upturn when we moved onto reminisces of WWII. It is often surprising how few people actually undertook active duty at the front but there were a few to be remembered. I really liked Tomsk's tale of Tomsk pere who was stationed in Egypt but not just racing around in tanks with Monty or drinking ice cold beer in Alexandria. The talented Tomsk senior was drawing maps in his makeshift studio in a tomb in the Valley of the Kings. I wonder if they let him out sometimes to watch Huggy's dad and uncle refereeing army football matches.
The next exciting conversation starter was "what are you doing for VE Day". Clearly only Tomsk knew it was VE Day on Friday and only Tomsk knew that Prosecco was the correct drink - I suppose it helps if you were there first time around. That was another well spent two minutes.
QG to the rescue again, this time with one of his famous quizzes. I am assuming that technical issues were responsible for it being two rounds rather than his usual 68 but the pictorial WWII themed questions on offer were challenging enough. OD and Huggy tied for first place (it is self-marked).
As is so often the case, as soon as OD left the call the MEMWNS brains trust found an impenetrable technical issue to discuss - non-server based Kittykat telephony protocols finally tore Bernster away from the work he had been doing all night whilst pretending to listen. All the Hustler and I could do while the jargon span across the ether was pretend to smoke large Cuban cigars with our pens - we like to look useful when it's all going above our heads. We soon found ourselves muted like a pair of virtual Marcel Marceaux channelling Groucho Marx. Redemption was shortly at hand for the Hustler in the shape of an equally fascinating debate on the Essex County boundary changes of 1965 and their effect on social identity. I am afraid to report that I had completely lost the thread by the time the raging torrent of argument had reached the great Epping Forest divide of 1993. We definitely need something to reopen where we can meet in person.